THIS IS A REJECTION

this is not a love story. this is not a faery tale. i'm going to tell it to you, and tell it to you straight. there will be no pretty analogies, i'm beyond the point of reason where this really sinks into the next long echo of self-pity and ugly, ugly pieces of electronics.
how can one word reflect another? this isn't a case of synonyms, this is cold hard irony, and it's slapped us in the face so many times i thought i wouldn't cry anymore, but i do. every word hurts more than any knife could because even though all of this every single filthy word you say leaves an impression on me that makes me want to be like you;
perfect with imperfections
a friend once told me that i had an air about me that screamed "protect me" and she was right.
i wish desparately for my prince charming to take me away (believe it or not i'm still a romantic, even after all these years) and keep me safe from evil witches like Cruella Deville.
there's a reason her name has words like 'cruel' and 'devil' in it, it's these words that aren't synonyms but shards of irony in the reflections of the bitter reality i just don't want to see.
the reality where people are broken by people they love, the reality where everything is made to look reality, when really the only real thing is everyone being fake.
(at least i can admit that i lie)
how can one word mean so much to me, but so little to you? how can pretty words be made ugly when you say them? words like 'true' and 'lend' and 'me'.
sometimes i just don't understand.
i don't remember who i am anymore, if i am one person or a whole group of people in one.
the truth is i'm afraid to let everyone know the truth about you because it means everyone will know the truth about me and that frightens me because i need everything i have more than you could imagine; more than you could ever understand.
and i know this is nothing but pen on paper, or words on some ugly electronic device that makes me feel so worthless (and you so threatened), but i had to say it someplace before i exploded.
i guess what they say is true.
"ignorance is bliss"