hold me closer tiny dancer

otherwise i might float away.
what can a person do when they live in a world where everything is an attempt at an attempt?
pulling down posters makes me sad
it's like ripping the personality of a wall of it.
doing it faster makes it worse.
but only a by a little.
new furniture
new wall
new me
everyone watch me as i descend.
this is not a waste of space
this is not a waste of space
this is not a waste of space
this is not a waste of space
i'm not a waste of space.
but i have to be reminded every now and again.

self-esteem is a stupid word

pleasepleasepleaseplease
please don't just leave without telling me to be safe first.
you leaving isn't shocking, it's just that if you don't say it i might die.
and then you would have to remember that for the rest of your life.
and i don't want you living with that.
dyingdyingdying
[this isn't a joke/test]
ARGH. sometimes you make me so mad with your insensitivities! everything is not about you. in fact i would argue the opposite and say that you are nothing/insignificant/not wanted. stop thinking that you can walk in and out of my life like it was a door with a broken hinge. I AM NOT INANIMATE. i think you have issues. i think you have problems. i think that friendship died with your birth.
i'm stealing your luck
and never giving it back.

so he's being hypocritical of himself?

i reckon.
essays over the internet really get the point across.
[speaking in person is so over-rated]
no-one knows what to say anymore, soon everything will be electric
like you.

i will never believe in anything again

but it's not your fault though, i just have a nasty habit of blaming other people for the stupid mistakes i make.

it's just a thing i do

everyone in my party has a quirky nature, and i guess it kinda suits.
i saw you somewhere, but i can't remember now. maybe it wasn't that important.
or maybe i didn't want to know you were there.
i can't remember.
big guns make more noise and smaller guns have less power.
which one would you choose?
it's too hard for me.
but if i had to,
i
would
probably
shoot
myself.

i guess there's no turning back now

new computers always make me nervous.
i guess it's because you never know which button leads to which mistake.
[i swear i won't break it like i broke mine]
sleepovers and strange questions
"do you get insulted?"
well obviously.
my camera flash makes dark scenes bright, but there's something wrong with it because it makes everyone look angelic and surreal
that's not how it looked in real life.
but real life is boring, so maybe this change in lighting is for the best.


[i might remember you the way you wanted me to]

looking through a fish-eye lense

everything looks better when you hear it first.

this is just so surreal

thank god for deadlines that make us work harder.
thank god for religion.
actually, i take that back.

and i used to be such a nice guy

times have changed.

i want my very own transfiguration

what does it mean to "be blinded by love" ?
i have no idea, but when i figure it out i'll tell you so that you can write it out somewhere else under another name with new words that glitter and sparkle like the diamonds you call your eyes.
PLAGIARISM IS A SIN.
but that's only if you get caught.

hear[t]

♥

(this isn't the real deal)

it never is.

with you, i feel like staying the same forever just so you never stop liking me. but that won't happen because if i don't change i'll start to hate myself and then it will end up like those pancakes that are stuck to the ceiling.
we flipped them too high.

i hate it when things don't go according to plan.

i learnt that dying isn't really the end of life a little while ago, but it only sunk in just then

i suppose i ought to say i'm sorry.

there's more to this than meets the eye

i'm beginning to think that the reality only trully sinks in after you reach the age where your heart opens as much as your eyes already have. we sit in cars with the locks on in dangerous suburbs with people who walk like gansters in the middle of the road. i'm not sorry, just joking. the sad part is i wish i was walking down the middle of the road with them. maybe that way someone will hate me and tell me to my face that it's all going to end badly because those dreams i had when i was little are gone. probably flushed somewhere out into that big, blue thing that swallows up little fishies and big bad sharks. [this is not a test] we're waiting in anticipation for parties that come after two long weeks of "happy hours" that make us sick to our patellas and want to throw up note books. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NEVER TOLD ME. [this is not a test] french music and minimized windows that hold the key to passing. it has to be in by nine o'clock. but what if it isn't ?
i'm
not
ready
for
all
this
chaos.
stop telling me that it will be fine. i know it won't be and you pointing it out only makes it all the more worse.
'i don't even wear a tie to work anymore.'
me neither.

i'm not sick i'm not sick i'm not sick i'm not sick i'm not sick i'm not sick

i just don't want to see you.

we play games in our minds

laugh with me. cry with me. tell me that you're going crazy and you're taking me with you.
because i would go.


flying
lying
crying
dying
why do words rhyme?

but how will i know where to start ?

there is only one major difference between you and me.
you're the one that everyone wants to see
and i'm the one everyone wants to hear[t]

it's the atmosphere

the cold air from outside mixing with the stale, warm air of the inside.
they feel like quick, smooth drugs.
and then there's the mosh pit.

and everything else fades to colour.

sitting in my leather chair

this is why i don't blog.

i caught the train to surprise you.

click.
and click.
double click:
refresh*

lipstick red seconals

we are endorsers of time.

please don't leave me alone to ponder about things that i did to hurt other people.

we're nowhere to be found

i am religion.
i am traditions.
i am typing up essays that will never be used again.
i am INSANE.
i am fed up.
i am ready for a new topic.
i am not stupid.
i am hurt.
i have feelings.



and you hurted them.

THIS IS NOT A TEST

but you still have to know the answer.

philosophy is never really true but never really false.
i guess it's like the revision sheet.

your face is a lamp post

why do i feel like crying every time you look at someone else?
it's not like we're together or anything
but
maybe
it's just the fact that i'm right here and you still don't see me
[whoa that was deep]
i'm seeing sunshine, lollypops and rainbows but they're all in monotone
so
i
can
never
get
enough
god i wish that you would rescue me from here.
where ever here is

i'm at the bottom of the bottle that's touching your lips.
chokechokechokechokechoke
just joking
i hope you live to see me grow up

singing in acid rain

there's just no getting over you is there?

can i ask you an intrusive question ?

part 1:
this is where i ask you something and you give me back a straight answer that isn't complete bullshit.
hello
my name is blank
and i like you
i really like you
every time i get on this fucking thing i look for your name
every
single
time
[no exaggeration]

part 2:
this is where you tell me about your problems without making it seem like you're the only one who exists.
hello
my name is blank
i really like you
i have problems
and each one involves you
sometimes it makes it hard to breathe
[i think i have asthma]
sometimes it makes it hard to see
[i think i'm blind]
sometimes my heart hurts so much from some of the things you say
[i'm having a heart attack]

todays word was "heartbeat"
can't we make it last just a little bit longer?

goodbye goodbye goodbye

i'm waiting for you to tell me how to feel about this.

and all i can do is sit and wonder why you never waved hello.

i hate the way reorganizing things makes me seem unorganized.

paper paper paper paper
did you know paper burns?
fire fire fire fire
yeah, that's what i'm wanting right now.
burn right through everything i own so that they won't own me
i'm not ready for a reorganization of everything which is the reorganization of my room which is the reorganization of my life. i think it would kill me inside to know that what i've been working for just left me alone to mourn over their ashes and remember back to everything i did with them.
would they remember me?
asking
looking
running
sweeping
everything is swept away after a little while
it makes me really melon-collie
bark bark bark bark
roaring is nothing compared to a good ol' bark. barking really gets the point across.
"what's that Barky? there's a boy stuck in a well?"
yup, that's what a bark can do.
but whenever someone says that a bark is worse then a bite, don't believe them.
because no matter how bad they bark, one bite will make your hand sear and burn.


kinda like fire to paper.

throw it away.

i guess that's the only way i can describe the way i'm feeling right now.
with hands on hearts on sleeves.
maybe fighting is the only way to see the truth without having to be saved.
or maybe it's just easier for to tap out then to say
"i think we're falling apart."



but everyone else will say that it was the lack of oxygen to our heads from all the injuries.

you're so swell it hurts me to look at you straight in the face.

i'm really not that bad.
it's just that i don't like to sit near people who don't know how to say hello to each other.

the division keeps getting bigger and there seems to be nothing we can do about it.
it's driving me insane.
full word friends have got me crying all the time because i think they've become abbreviations.

"this can be our secret place."

yellow.
better.
mouse.
wite-out.
speaker.
this is not fun.
all this waiting is making me go insane and the pressure makes me want to shoot people i used to love.
hurting really makes me sad.
wishing does nothing.
it's like speaking french in america.
to non-american people.
they just don't understand the mechanics.
it's like it's beyond them, but really
who
the
fuck
cares
?





dude, just turn up.
how much easier would that be?

in-YOUR-endo

don't refresh.

you are my crush to pass the time

but don't get insulted,

at least
you have
my attention.

i wouldn't sing with you if you were the last bucket of water and my head was on fire.

i totally would.

oh, the connotations

you + me = innuendoes for a lifetime.





but i wouldn't have it any other way.

times like these never do seem to change.

i'm like a fireman with the way i'm always trying to put you out.
there's no other words to describe it but hopefully :) .

as he smiled that semi colon closed bracket smile he does so cheerfully while he is emotionless, showing no real emotion as he hits the keys as he types.

chaos in the countryside

running around screaming profanities in languages adults don't understand. playing with little boys who think that super heroes look like monsters. taking photos with idiots who make funny faces and sing songs that make old people fall over. from laughter.

then laughing at stupid, spontaneous comebacks.
"if you tell her, i'll take your face away from you."

we'll be at the party

with a smile.

driving to infinity

on a trip across the universe.




all for a senseless act of beauty.

i'm nothing like how you aimed for me to be

srsly though,
i
give
up.

year 30

and everything else that followed.

i just like-liked him.

please don't make me say his name again.
"because he's better than me in some way."



he'll never be better than you.

love sucks.

you're more than just the icing, you're the entire multistory chocolate cake

watching movies that make you go yee-haw and laughing about it later. drawing black hearts that represent love in the back of our notes books. telling eachother tales from beyond the school courtyard about train rides and shy, embaressed boys that won't take you inside. memorising french orals, then not being able to say them because you're giggling too hard at friends with hic-ups. screaming goodbye at the top of my lungs.






well pull my heart out and colour it orange,
i think that we're biffles.

save me. save me. save me.

i'm sleeping in a tent with ghosts and monsters that won't stop shouting at me like i'm a ghost whisperer. they're telling me that we'll always be together and that i should get my favourite pair of shoes ready to go walking with them into the night.

we are poetry in motion,
but don't tell our parents.

i have my new shoes on and i won't stop moving forward till the sun explodes

run away, run away, i'll attack.

everybody looks at us funny, it must be the way we wear our clothes or the funny hats we have on our heads to protect us from the rain. maybe it's your good looks and my being there with you, attached at the hip.
how unfortunate for you.
i'm guessing it's the fact that we're together at all that gets them staring, i mean, how could someone like me be seen with you?

buckle up honey, it's time we went for the wild ride of our lives.

i have a thing for people who love other people

you're never going to like me are you?

are you going to bathe your husband?

SAVE MARLA SINGER

i'm going to be someone. i don't know who yet, but i will be someone and when i am i'll be walking in around in those wicked shoes with heels so thin that you can't see them on the side and handbags made of leather so expensive you'd think that cows were an endangered species.
i'm going to be someone. i'll wave to people from my yellow submarine and climb in through bathroom windows only to be welcomed with open arms and other parts open even further.
if i'm lucky.
i'm going to be someone. i won't have to worry about french homework and over due legal extended responses because i will be queen of the world and people will look at me with my fancy killer shoes and even sharper knife and wish they were me.
me me me me me me me me me me me me

one day all those words will mold together and they'll become meme.
that means "the same" in french.

whenever you look at someone else, my heart breaks a thousand times over.

breathing borrowed air

sometimes i look up and down and try to see where the earth and sky collide with eachother and become one. it sounds ridiculous, but that's only because imagination isn't your strong suit,
it
is
not
.


srsly though, tweet tweet.

do you remember the night we made our son?

sometimes i wish that i could relive every perfect moment just so i could feel that way again.

this is not a dream. this is not a fairy tale. you will have no happy ending. there will be no prince, no princess. no noble stead. this is not a dream. this is not a fairy tale. you will have no happy ending. there will be no prince, no princess. no noble stead.


but i want it to be a dream. i want it to be a fairy tale. i want that sappy, dramatic happy ending. i want my prince on a noble stead. i want it.


there's no true in happy.

in my future world there'll be special boxes that come in every colour that you can connect to your mind to play back every moment of your life before your eyes from your p.o.v.

smile, though your heart is breaking

singing songs by hot boybands is what makes my life worth living.
playing games on hot game consoles is what makes my life worth living.
seeing my friends at school and sitting next to them in class is what makes me life worth living.
taking photos that remind me of those fleeting memories is what makes my life worth living.




don't get angry if i didn't mention you.
it just means you're not that important.

stop. drop. roll.

photography. macbook. sitting on the side of the road advertising.







this is what life's about.

i laugh at you boycotting the question

you left me.
with a ________ heart.


that's right. you left me with a ________ heart.
i wish that you didn't, that you wouldn't.
it kinda hurts.
if you can try and imagine gazillions of thick blunt crayons pounding themselves into you, trying to paint your blood all the colours of the rainbow; blue, green, yellow, magenta, orange, navy, indigo.
red.


i'm really sad. i think the only thing i have left is that fucking heart.
thatneverletsmesleepatnightbecauseitremindsmeofyou.


i wish you would look at me.

masquerade; paper faces on parade

lame
lame
lame
lame
LAME.



i just don't have time for this anymore.

i fear that i shall never see,




the cateracs that blind me stop me from looking at the people behind the masks and funny expressions.